"It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." - Mark Twain
Preparing for a fulfilling birthing journey
is an exercise in self discovery and requires deep soul excavation. What you believe to be true about birth will profoundly influence how your birth proceeds; I would venture to say it is even the determining factor. The story you tell yourself about how women are “supposed” to give birth and what a "normal" birth looks like... will impact every facet of your own birthing. Your thought and beliefs create every moment of your reality, so exploring your Birth Beliefs is essential inner work.
Do you perceive birth as a sacred, holy occasion? A profound rite of passage? Do you believe birth to be a healthy, normal biological function? Do you fully expect birth to go well? Do you see The Male Doctor as the authority figure who will dictate the process and "deliver" the baby, or do you see yourself trusting your womb wisdom to guide you on your birthing journey as YOU give birth to your baby? Do you believe birth to be safe or dangerous? Is birth "supposed" to hurt?
And why is that?
Why do you see birth as such? Are these perceptions accurate? Isn't it a curious thing that we can have very strong beliefs about something we've never experienced firsthand? I want us to look at birth in a completely new light. With, fresh, clear eyes and a beginners mind, let us re-examine birth and explore the potentialities that birth holds!
What's most detrimental to women isn't that they lack childbirth information; it's what they DO know about birth "that just ain't so".
Case in point. An old Auntie of mine once said that giving birth is like pushing a watermelon through a straw.
And why would you tell a young child that? For one, this is entirely inaccurate, anatomically speaking. Second, it is damaging to spread these kinds of lies and misinformation, as it instills fear and doubt- the true enemies of birth (and self). The truth is- your yoni, or vagina, is a strong elastic structure, capable of expanding exponentially to easily accommodate baby. Your yoni, that sacred portal through which life emerges, is composed of rugae, an accordion like feature; MUCH different than a "straw", which is a fixed, non expanding, hard structure. A watermelon is also a fixed, non yielding structure, completely unlike a human baby, which is mostly squishy fat, and very slippery at that. And did you know that the plates of baby's skull aren't fused together yet; allowing baby's head to easily mold and conform to the birth path? Baby and yoni were intelligently, specifically and perfectly designed to work together in perfect harmony. They are juicy, organic, yielding and soft.
Birth is not your enemy.
But about the fear part. These falsehoods that are so prevalent are what's most damaging to women. It sends the message: Your body will break. Birth is traumatic. Birth is abnormal.
The accumulation of these messages imprint on the young person's mind until she fully EXPECTS birth to hurt, become dysfunctional, and be scary. So, before birth even begins, she is already looking for someone to save her. She already views her Male Doctor as the hero, her knight in shining armour. She views The Doctor as the Enlightened One, the one possessing the birthing wisdom and knowledge (particularly ironic if the Doctor is male). So, she lays there, helpless, a victim of her own mind. Her fears release adrenaline, which stop contractions, make her body tense. Her yoni won't open under these conditions. Her labor does, in effect, become dysfunctional. The Doctor does, then, become The Hero.
The entire scenario, a self fulfilling prophecy.
This is why we must learn to separate fact from fiction, and myth from reality. In regards to childbirth, myth and misinformation ABOUND; much to the detriment of the birthing woman.
Your body is not the enemy. Birth is not the enemy. You baby is not the enemy.
Body, birth and baby will work together in perfect harmony if given the opportunity.
This is why I think it is helpful to invoke or embody the Dark Goddess Kali. A Hindu Goddess, also called Black Mother, Kali is the Supreme, Primordial Feminine; the Universal Mother. She goes to war against ignorance. She is the destroyer of maya (illusion)... and if called upon, will burn away all that no longer serves you. She cuts through the bullshit so you can see the Truth. She liberates. "The death of the old makes way for creation of the new", she reminds us.
Kali is the bright fire of truth.
So, what do you need to destroy? Your old, outdated, ignorant views of birth (or something else)?
What do you need to let go of?
What do you need to shed, heal, release, resolve?
What shadow parts of yourself do you need examine, explore, shine a light on?
Let us reclaim, remember and reconnect with our ourselves, our womb wisdom, the sacred and spiritual aspects of birthing.
You are a powerful Creator.